WASHINGTON, June 20, 2014– Can’t do your taxes because the dog ate your hard drive? No problem! According to a press release from Congressman Steve Stockman (R- Texas), taxpayers who do not produce documents for the Internal Revenue Service will be able to offer a variety of dubious excuses under new legislation he introduced a week after the IRS offered an incredibly dubious excuse for its failure to turn documents over to House investigators.
“The United States was founded on the belief government is subservient and accountable to the people. Taxpayers shouldn’t be expected to follow laws the Obama administration refuses to follow themselves,” said Stockman. “Taxpayers should be allowed to offer the same flimsy, obviously made-up excuses the Obama administration uses.”
Under Stockman’s bill, “The Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Act,” taxpayers who do not provide documents requested by the IRS can claim one of the following reasons:
1. The dog ate my tax receipts
2. Convenient, unexplained, miscellaneous computer malfunction
3. Traded documents for five terrorists
4. Burned for warmth while lost in the Yukon
5. Left on table in Hillary’s Book Room
6. Received water damage in the trunk of Ted Kennedy’s car
7. Forgot in gun case sold to Mexican drug lords
8. Forced to recycle by municipal Green Czar
9. Was short on toilet paper while camping
10. At this point, what difference does it make?
Stockman’s bill comes a week after the IRS refused to turn over to House investigators emails from former Exempt Organizations Divison director Lois Lerner that would implicate agency personnel in illegal targeting of citizens critical of President Barack Obama.
The IRS claimed a “computer glitch” has erased the hard drives of all incriminating evidence. The IRS further claimed the hard drives are not available for forensic investigation as they had just been destroyed for recycling.